How do you align yourself to your desires?

Love and Relationships Add comments

If you know where you want to be, and you constantly find yourself falling short of your target, it may be time to look at your own self defeating thoughts and actions. How do you align yourself to your desires?

It is important to understand that change is rarely something that just happens. Its like sitting back and dreaming of everything you would do if you won the lottery, but never buying a ticket!

My clients often call me for a reading and expect me to deliver good news and wonderful predictions. I hear about how unhappy they are and what needs to change. Responsibility for making that change is placed in my hands. I am expected to deliver a reading that promises all the things that they want from life. If it really was that simple, everyone would all be blissfully happy and I would be a very wealthy lady!

I can read your energy but only you can change it.

In order to align yourself to what you want, it is necessary to examine how you got where you are. Then explore what needs to be done to change direction.

This is not easy. If the process was simple and did not involve human needs and emotions, then you would have kept yourself on the correct path. Change would not be required.

So how did you get on the wrong path?

1) Conditioned behaviour. You are a product of your environment and you learn by watching what those around you do. The problem is that the people around you may be dysfunctional, perhaps have limited understanding, and, most importantly, are not you, so trying to follow a path carved by others is literally like trying to walk in their shoes. Align yourself to your own path.

2) Fear. This is particularly relevant to relationships. Fear of being alone, never finding love, never having a family, can lead to huge compromises. Examples of this are remaining in abusive or unsatisfactory relationships. Trying to turn your partner into what you want them to be, rather than accepting who they are. Engaging in co-dependent behaviour in an attempt to hold things together.

3) Forming an attachment to the outcome. One of the biggest mistakes that I see is the temptation to rush! Falling in love before someone knows who they are falling in with. Wanting to know if this person is likely commit before enough time has passed to know if this person is a suitable match. Running every new encounter through the ‘will he marry me’ filter.

Align yourself to the right path

1) Live in the moment. Enjoy each second as it comes. Stop worrying about what comes next. Understand that how you behave in THIS MOMENT has a direct impact on what comes next! Do you want be seen as needy, obsessive, overbearing and insecure? Isn’t it more attractive to be seen as calm, independent, relaxed and open to what comes up?

2) Not allowing past hurts to invade the present. So the last guy cheated on you, maybe even the one before that too, but does that really mean that you have to doubt every word that the current guys says? Do you really think that punishing him for things he has no control over is the way to happiness?

3) Finding a path that is uniquely yours and does not rely on any one specific person. Build friendships. Seek out activities that you enjoy. Find a way to create your own security. When you do this, two things happen. Firstly it makes you very attractive and ‘together’. Secondly, when you meet new people, you will be assessing what they bring to your life. Do they enhance what you have worked hard to build or are they likely to destroy it? Doing this will lead to making better choices.

Common mistakes

When you come from a place of need and look for someone to ‘complete you’ or to fill a vacancy in your life, this can easily lead to getting involved with the wrong people. Anyone can fill a space but what is the cost of this interaction?

If you find yourself haunted by past relationships that caused you pain, it may be time to examine the choices you made that lead to those interactions. The legacy of abuse and cheating can remain with you long after the person who betrayed you has departed.

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