One of the most common questions that I am asked by clients is ‘how does so and so feel about me?’. A close second is ‘where is this going to end up?’ In some cases this question can be about someone they only just met!
The people who ask this question are putting more energy into focusing on the desired destination, than the journey. This is fraught with problems. The most significant problem being that if you cannot communicate with someone, and that includes discussing how they feel about you, and the relationship, then its going to be very hard to have a relationship with them at all. What will you do? Consult a psychic very time you want to know whats on your partners mind?
If communication is fine in all areas except the one where feelings and aspirations are discussed then it could be that they are just not looking for the same things as you, and do not want the outcome that you want. In the case of someone you only started seeing recently, anyone with emotional maturity, healthy boundaries and basic common sense is NOT about to jump into anything headfirst until they know the person a lot better. Thats a GOOD THING!!! People who rush into relationships at 100mph are quite often the same people who rush back out again just as fast over the most trivial things.
Pushing the issue of long term commitment and potential outcomes can also spoil what may have been a good relationship, because when an emotionally secure and grounded person is faced with someone who wants to discuss where a relationship is headed, before they have even had time to get to the know the person and establish if they are even a good match, then alarm bells ring. When we are faced with someone who is ready to make long term plans with someone they only just met it says a few things about that person, none of them positive. It indicates that they are insecure, desperate, or perhaps have a hidden agenda and most of all it indicates that they dont really have an interest in us personally, but what we represent long term. There is no way that it can be about us individuals when they havent had the time to know who we really are!
Who you end up with in life is not carved in stone. Dont ruin the potential that MIGHT be there by trying to push things along too fast. Relax, stay calm, stay in the moment, enjoy each interaction for what it brings and let go of attachment to the outcome!
Enjoy the JOURNEY.
Like this article? Read my book Relationships – what you need to know
By Fiona Beck
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