Finding your Soul Mate – a blessing in disguise.

Love and Relationships, Soul connections Add comments


When it comes to the subject of finding a Soul Mate, there is a lot of mis-information being passed around. Dating sites will use the term in a way that leads us to think that if we just find this one special person, we will get our ‘happy ever after’.

Many people think that a Soul Mate is ONE person in the world that you are destined to meet, and that your happiness depends upon finding this person.

There are elements of truth in both of these views. But its very far from being that simple.

Soul Connections are about growth. The Universe put us here to grow, learn and evolve. To reach transcendence. To find wisdom. To become the very best version of ourselves. Its a bit like school. You may not enjoy the learning process, but in order to progress through life and be successful you need an education.

We all yearn for a happy, stable, content life, free of worry and drama. We have free will and can decide how we approach life given the circumstances in which we find ourselves. We learn by living with the consequences of the choices we make. Good choices, lead to nice consequences, poor choices lead to less than nice consequences.

In the case of a Soul Mate encounter, everything is amplified.

Soul connections are not the same as relationships.

It is very important to keep this in mind because trying to pursue a relationship with a Soul Mate is akin to trying to swim through treacle.

A successful, healthy relationship is based around trust, stability, communication, consistency, and a commitment to making it work. Even with these things is place, there are still challenges and bumps in the road. The ability to navigate the path is centred around two people who have decided to give it their best and work on it.

A Soul Connection is filled with extreme highs and lows, and a sporadic ‘off and on’ energy, as two people trigger one another’s deepest issues over and over. The intense love that you feel is the glue that holds you there until you work on the issues that are being triggered for YOU.

Trying to have a relationship with your Soul Mate before working through this mess is a nightmare.

A number of things need to happen and while each Soul Connection is different, and every person comes with their own set of unique challenges, there are a number of issues that tend to come up in all Soul Connections.

Things to consider.

1. Learning to love unconditionally. Love in its true form is about giving. You give your time, attention, and energy to someone because you love and care about them and you want the best for them. Conditional love is what happens when you expect something in return. You get hurt when there is no reciprocation. You start to give too much in a manipulative and controlling way because you think that as long as you give your all – the other person MUST give back. You try to guilt trip them into giving you what YOU want from them.

Thats not about love at all, its about need. If someone is not giving you what you want then perhaps they are not the right person for you. Trying to turn someone into what you want them to be is a waste of time. Unconditional love is about loving who they are and deciding if that is what you want.

2. Practicing Healthy Boundaries. If you have ever experienced someone treating you badly, showing you little or no respect, taking you for granted or even abusing you – and you are STILL hanging in there waiting for change – you are lacking boundaries. Boundaries such as knowing your worth and refusing to be treated like you are worth less than that.

It can be very hard to establish healthy boundaries in a Soul Connection because of the immense pull that keeps drawing you back in over and over, but until you do, there will be no significant change. People are resistant to spiritual growth. It is much easier to seek out others who will accept the dysfunctional and abusive version of you, than to look within, address your issues and try to be better. With this in mind, if you accept less, then less is what you will get going forward. You are showing with your actions, that less is OK.

3. Practicing self love. Establishing healthy boundaries is much easier when you love yourself. When you know with every fibre of your being that you are a good, genuine, caring, loving, giving, worthwhile person, you are far less likely to take nonsense from anyone – no matter how much you love them. Love is not about being a doormat, being a victim or compromising your own happiness just to keep someone in your life.

4. Silence your ego. You cannot have everything you want. Life doesn’t work that way. Remember that you are here to learn, and your personal challenges may not fall in line with what your ego desires. There is also something you need to know about that ego of yours. It wants what it wants, when it wants it, and will throw a tantrum if it does not get it. But that does not mean that what it wanted was actually good for you. Your entitlement junkie ego will lead you down a dark alley into a snake pit because there was something it WANTED in the bottom of that pit. A good example of this is when a mistress wants nothing more than to see her lover divorce his wife and marry her – only to find that once he does that, he takes a NEW mistress and she becomes the undervalued wife. Your ego will want you to win the prize no matter what the cost. Do yourself a favour and make sure the prize is really worth it.

5. Focus on YOU, not them. This is probably the most important thing to keep in mind when dealing with a Soul Connection. Your path, your lessons, your growth are for you to focus on. Your Soul Mate’s path, lessons and growth are for THEM to focus on. When you spend all your time obsessing over what someone is thinking / feeling / doing / intending – you are sabotaging your own growth.

If you come away with one thing from this article make it this:

When it comes to Soul Connections, your growth is the catalyst for their growth. When you change, everything changes, and change is what this is all about. If you remain stagnant, there will be no progress.

When you change the music, the whole dance changes and everyone needs to learn new steps.

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