I love you – leave me alone!

Love and Relationships, Soul connections Add comments


I love you! Leave me alone!

There are many reasons why someone would express undying love for you only to vanish and reject your attempts to contact them. It can save you a lot of time and heartache if you know what you are dealing with.

Sometimes it really is a matter of fear. They jumped in too fast, things moved on at a rapid pace and before they had time to process what was happening they found themselves headed for a deep commitment and panicked because they do not feel ready. This may completely contradict their words and actions up to this point, but actions always speak louder and verbally weaving a dream fairytale future is not an indication of the ability to make it happen in reality.

The pain of feeling deep love for someone only to have them detach in this way often leads us to seek out reasons that are not outright rejection and abandonment. We truly want to believe that this is all fear based, because that tells us that it was not about us but about them. That they can overcome this fear. That all is not lost and there will be another chance. So we hang in there, waiting and hoping.

Denial is a great tool for avoiding pain, but it doesn’t remove you from the path that leads to the pain and in many cases, it just prolongs the agony.

Your ego would much rather believe that someone is scared, hiding and ‘not ready’, than to suffer the blow that you were abandoned.

The fact is that sometimes this may be because you WERE abandoned and sometimes this IS about fear. But sometimes, this a control tactic employed by an insecure abuser who wants to undermine you and make you dependent.

The control tactic is the WORST way to be abandoned. This is not the action of someone who cares about you and just feels scared, nor is it the action of someone who had a change of heart. This is an intentional power play aimed at undermining you, triggering all your fears of being rejected, and manipulating you into behaving the way that they want you to in order to suit their own agenda. The problem is that your ego will not want to accept this and will hold on to the concept that this is a fear issue that can be overcome, because thats far less painful that realising you are being played.

This is also when a lot of people will seek out psychic insight. The problem is that they are so hurt and their ego is so wounded, that the ONLY explanation they are open to is the scared / not ready one, because this allows them to avoid the pain. For a while at least…..

If you find yourself in a cycle of ‘come here / go away’, pay close attention to what is really going on. Does this person strike you as a passive, scared, anxious person in other areas of life? Do they struggle with big decisions like changing job or buying a car? Do they become indecisive and change their mind multiple times before making plans? If they answer is yes, then you may well be dealing with a fear based reaction.

However, if this person has NO problem committing to work, friendships, major purchases, expensive vacations, other women or anything that directly benefits THEM – you need to consider that you could be dealing with someone who is conditioning you to be there on THEIR TERMS and accepting this will lead to one thing – MORE OF THE SAME.

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