What are my lessons?

Love and Relationships, Soul connections Add comments


Soul Connections are about two people who come together to trigger each others deepest issues. Ideally, what needs to happen next is that each person then recognises their OWN issues and works on them for their OWN good.

This all sounds very simple if you are not the one in the midst of it!

In practice, it can be very hard to identify your own part in a dysfunctional relationship. Your ego does not want to acknowledge that there could possibly be something wrong with YOU. It wants to be right. It wants to take its limited perspective and life experience and apply it to a situation, whilst totally disregarding that there is another person in this equation with their OWN limited perspective and life experience. You are left with two ways to view this. You can either see it as a challenging and enlightening journey, or see it as an impassable, obstacle ridden road with no end in sight.

You are growing all the time, even when you feel that you are stagnant and nothing is changing, there is still growth. You and your over active ago may be resisting that growth but its still happening. Your choice, your free will, is about allowing it to happen or resisting it. Either way its happening.

So how do you identify your own lessons? Well if you can distract that ego of yours for a few minutes I will tell you!

If you keep finding yourself bumping heads with the same people about the same things, then there is an issue buried in there. Sometimes it may be as simple as detaching from a situation and walking away. The need to engage and fight is coming from your ego.

If you find yourself in a situation where you KNOW you are right and the other party is wrong then I have news for you. You are NOT right. Your ego wants to be right and will do all it can to convince you that this is the case, but when winning a battle means losing the war then you soon discover that you were NOT right at all.

When the desire to get what YOU want, when YOU want it, is more important than the object of your affection being happy and free, to do exactly what they choose to do (which includes choosing NOT to be with you), then you are allowing your ego to run your life (and attempt to run theirs).

When you want to control what another person does, who they see, where they go and who they are friends with, then your ego is calling the shots. If you do not like someones life choices then the only REASONABLE option open to you is to consider if this person has a place in your life at all. Love is NOT about changing people to be who your EGO wants them to be. If you needed black shoes, you wouldn’t buy red ones and spend the next month complaining about it. The same thing applies to people.

The ego can control you in a number of ways.

Falling in love with someone and discovering that they are not who they appeared to be in the early stages – then trying to turn them back into that person.

Someone breaks up with you, and you try to manipulate them into coming back to you.

Falling in love with someone who is married or attached and refusing to accept / respect that they are married and you should be leaving them alone.

Being in a relationship with someone and trying to stop them from seeing their own family because YOU don’t get along with them. (If you don’t like it – walk away).

Entering into a casual ‘friends with benefits’ situation and then demanding more.

Thinking that by looking a certain way, having certain things, being in a certain job and living in the ‘right’ neighbourhood makes you entitled to preferential treatment.

Sometimes we even allow our ego to put us in total misery, by refusing to let go of people, relationships and situations. By keeping us waiting for people who have walked away and moved on. By refusing to accept what is staring us in the face, like abuse or infidelity.

True spiritual growth requires a level of ‘ego death’. There are a great many people in the world who claim to be spiritually enlightened and will then proceed to tell you how wonderful they are and convince that you are doing it all wrong and they know better. Enlightened people will allow you to be who you are, respect the path that you are on and understand that your life choices are YOURS to make. When you reach enlightenment, you will offer the same courtesy to others.

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