Do you need a Facebook Face-cation?

Love and Relationships, The people you meet online Add comments

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Social networking sites give us access to information that would never have been available in the past. In some ways this is good. If someone is trying to deceive us then we can save ourselves a lot of time, energy and heartache by clicking a few buttons, checking a few Facebook profiles and gaining instant clarity on what is REALLY going on. Even when someone has a closed Facebook page, all they need is a profile picture, ‘liked’ by a few people with open news feeds and this can be enough to catch them in a lie.

Someone may be lying to you, and may think that by keeping their Facebook page locked down, or restricting what you can see, that you will never find out. But they cannot control what other people, those they are friended to, choose to post publicly.

A good example of this is a guy who tells you he is single, that he is not dating anyone. He is flirting and making plans with you. His Facebook page is closed but he has a profile picture that several people have ‘liked’. One of those people happens to be a female whose page is public and she LOVES to post updates about what the two of them did last weekend. Not only does this reveal that he is a liar – it also reveals that she is deeply insecure in this relationship, and feels the need to publicly mark her territory in an attempt to warn off any competition – which means that SHE knows he is a liar too! But that is not your problem. You are now free to detach from this situation with no doubts whatsoever – you caught him in a lie and this is the upside of Social Networking. You will not waste anymore of your valuable time on this loser.

So Social Networking, and other forms of public information that are readily available online, can be a great help when establishing if someone is worthy of our time. But there is a downside to this and it really depends on our own capacity to let go and move on. This is where people often get stuck. The temptation to check over and over to see what someone is doing and who they are seeing, if they are still in a relationship etc, is VERY unhealthy.

Checking to see if someone is being honest and upfront is very different to stalking them and everyone they are friended to. Discovering that someone was lying when they told you they were single is painful but can ultimately set you free. Checking back daily to see if the relationship is ongoing, happy and committed is something else entirely, and its NOT good. WAITING for it to break up in the hope of a reconciliation is MADNESS.

Just because you have access to something, doesnt mean that you have to torture yourself on a daily basis. So your ex has moved on, he has someone new. Thats his choice, and as painful as it may be, you have to accept it and let him go. You also have a choice. To live your life based on what is attainable or to become a cyber stalker and invest all of your energy scrutinising Facebook for snippets of information, about someone who isn’t giving YOU a second thought. One last thing to keep in mind – Facebook is all about PR. The vast majority of people want the world to think that they have the perfect life, the biggest house, the successful career and the most solid relationship. What they post on Facebook is posted with this in mind. That does NOT mean that what they post is reality.

Do you need a Facebook FACE-CATION?

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